Sunday, July 24, 2005
hmm...met up wif yy & zy 2dae...ll kenot cum...sadded...
was on my way to orchard on de mrt..started tinkin bout death all of a sudden...suddenly decided i wanna die a violent death...stuff lyk die in an explosion..or a gunshot....no drownin or hangin fer mi...drownin iz horrible...had a dream once when i found myself drowning...horrid...realli felt fear den...de feelin of helplessness as u watch de surface of de water get further & further away fr u...or de fact tt de water surface seem so near yet so far...knowin u're gonna die...de certainty, de waitin...gdness..so...drownin iz out..
hangin...needless to sae iz out coz it'll b so undignified..de bez death wld b a crash...flash...bang...& den in a blink of de eye...itz de end...not even time to sae bye bye...
if i shld get an incurable disease...will definitely not cure it...prob will commit suicide..at least i wld have died by my own hands...not due to some invisible force...i make my own life & thus i end my own life...my choice of death...control...itz de key to everything..i juz hafta die on my own terms...
Man’s Fate by Malraux:
“He had always thought that it is fine to die by one’s own hands, a death that resembles one’s life. And to die is passivity, but to kill oneself is action.”
therefore...dun tink commiting suicide iz dat bad an idea after all...nor do i tink itz lyk a sin as it was durin de crusaders time..duno if it is still considered a sin now?? ..aniwae tink itz a choice made by de person him/herself...of his/her own will...it mebbe a bad choice but itz still a choice ...a person has de rite to choose de path & de kind of life he/she wants..
so...regardin euthanasia...i wholeheartedly support it...
...if i shld happen to becum a vegetable in de future...hope some1 will b kind enuff to pull de plug...i mean y waste de bed & de $$? save de bed fer a person who has a greater chance of survival & de $$$ fer a betta use...
cum to tink of it...it was quite farni..tinkin of death while surrounded by ppl who r beri much alive...kind of a juxtaposition...lol...
aniwae was quite high 2dae...prob coz last nite slept at 4am...lol...i go quite bonkas when i dun slp enuff..haha..in short..we went shoppin...den ate at marche...de crepe iz nice....yum yum...lol..den...zy wanna go marina..& since we're full...we decided to walk dere...haven walked so long a dist fer quite sometime..haha...fr orchard to bugis to raffles city...
on de way...we were horsin ard...lyk kids...haha...got this lion dance troupe went by & zy suggested we sae hi...& i juz sae hi & waved...on a crowded sidewalk at orchard on a sun...de result of a lack of slp...aniwae...de two of dem were lyk "i duno u, man"....haha...crazy...
den outside PS, we saw diz 2 kids (foreigners) yellin their heads off at each other on de street in front of us...but one of dem ltr broke off shortly & started laughin...zy & i suddenly had diz brilliant idea tt we shld do it 2..haha...exchange vulgarities & all...tot it'll b quite cool...but den din do it lahz...haha decided we not smart enuff...nid a script...lol...tink yy was prob quite relieved...haha..
checked out quite a few restaurants, cafes on the way...all wif nice ambience & reasonable rates....haha decided we shld gif it a try sometime...we even went to visit de national lib!!!! ken u imagine??!!...we actualli went to de lib before sch term starts!!!!....gdness....hmm...din realli lyk it lah...too commercialised...deliberately so i guess to attract s'poreans as well as foreigners & to make it a symbol of s'pore...with all de collections of rare bks & theatres..an arts hub...BUT for mi....libs r still de old musty ones tt r nice...de feelin tt i'm in another world...another generation...de bks dere wld prob haf been dere for eons...sittin dere on de shelves...as if dey haf been dere all this while waitin fer mi alone...
aniwae enuff of my crap...saw a bk while browsin thru de shelves...it was an art bk on painted bodies...damn cool...was amazed by de diff styles of artwork..tho was struck by de fact tt all de models r females..gender discrimination??!!! haha...aniwae din haf time to finish it...BUT am impressed enuff tt i tink i will prob drop by somedae to realli look thru it pg by pg...lol..
saw some phrases written as graffiti on a length of wall at de lib 2...
"Hypocrisy is a necessary evil of all gentlemen."
"I was broken by the rain
the silence taken to the streets
the falter & linger did not matter
till de past comes out to speak.."
( sth liddat...can't rem...muz rem to ask zy...tink she took it down...lol)
after tt slacked at raffles city BK & went home...
yupz...my last dae of de hols passed juz lyk dat...
Blogado por moi às 11:40 PM ||
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