I've been wanting to change for so long
My cowardice's getting to me
I'm such a scaredy cat
You'd think such a loser as I
Would have been dead a long time ago
BUT no..i'm still very much alive

How much alive?
Look at me and u'd noe
I'm more of a walking dead
Better off dead than alive

I talk BIG
I talk about wanting liberation and freedom
BUT do I have the nerve to play the game
When the time comes?

No one knows
What I do know is I dun have the balls
To play that is
Something is always pulling me back
I duno if there really is sth
Something like obligations and commitment
Or is it just an excuse to escape?
I look at myself in the mirror everyday
And all I see is a shell

I listen to what I say to others
And all I hear is hypocrisy
I try to remember all my actions
And all I can feel is my silliness
Who am I really?
Even I myself duno
I'm so lost and confused
There are so many 'mes'

I no longer noe
Which is the REAL me anymore

Sometimes I think I'm so selfish
I only think about 'me'
What about the others around me?
Dun they count?
I look in my heart and all I find is darkness
I look in my mind and I find emptiness
I look at myself and I find
A shitload of crap
My past is full of might-have-beens
My present is full of what the hell am i doing?
My future is dark in front of me
Seriously, I think my presence on earth
Is a BIG mistake
I fuck up everything and
I'm so GOOD at making ppl ard mi miserable
They'll prob find life easier
If I'm dead
I crave for death so much
You would think I'd commit suicide
BUT dun forget I'm a loser
I'm simply too damn scared to do it
In conclusion
I SUX...totally
____________

tHe DrEaMmEr____.
a hardcore bitch
a loser
a slacker
a dreamer
a failure
a contradictory person
a confused gal
a nobody who wanna b a somebody & a nobody at the same time
a fuck-up

WiSh LisT____.
everyone I care about (my family, cw, my friends)
to be healthy, safe & happy always
everyone I care about to outlive me
to die a horrible death

to fulfill my dreams:
a career as a police/forensic psychologist
a home(cottage/ranch) in UK/US
learn horse riding
learn how to shoot all kinda guns
learn lotsa foreign lang
learn skiing
go bungee jumping
learn hypnosis

LOveS____.
My family. cw
Takeshi Kaneshiro. Jay Chou. Luo Zhixiang.
Shakrukh Khan. Barry Manilow.
Dark Funeral.
Figo. Raul. Zidane. Deco. Van de sar.
K Bryant. M Jordan. A Iverson
Real Madrid. Man U.
Bleach. Fruits Baskets. Full Metal Alchemist.
Get Backers. Slam Dunk.
E Lit. Psych. Art.
Chocolates. Purple. Horses. Dogs.
Reading. Writing. Sketching. Music.
Night. Rain. Silence. Winter.
SimPliCitY.

MOvieS wAtcHed with dd____.
The Simpsons Movie. Knocked Up.
The Bourne Ultimatum.
National Treasure: Book of Secrets.
Broken English. Secret. Stardust. Next.
The Nanny Diaries. I am Legend.
Sex is Zero. The Shutter.
Just my luck. Step up.

tHe fElLow DrEaMeRs____.
wl
wl
cousin hy
zt
ph
yy
ll
yt
hx
xf
jl
Dorothy
Janice
kellY
William
Clement
Clement
Joy
Melissa

Darren

Xiaozhu
Fahrenheit-Wu Chun

NJCO Alumni
nvac
Achievers Blog
Achievers Forum
NUS Psych Society
A
B
F
K
C
Val's Find My Top
Bags for sale
psychopathic

LiNkS____.
Nohari window
Results of Nohari Window

fRagmenTs Of LiFe____.
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
November 2008
December 2008
May 2013

Thursday, August 04, 2005

met up wif hx & yt fer dinner last nite...been a long time since i last saw hx....ever since last yr i tink...wahaha...tink i MIA...lol...

Anyway, we went to marina square and ate at this chinese restaurant called Imperial Treasure La Mian & Xiao Long Bao (i tink ....haha dun realli remember since i was concentratin on the food...lol...)...It was the second time I ate at a chinese restaurant with friends..lol...The first time was on my 21st birthday (i tink??!!) with ll, yy & zy at Crystal Jade (La Mian & Xiao Long Bao)....haha..feels weird coz hav always kinda associate chinese restaurants wif family...hmm...well, cum to think of it...friends r kinda lyk a family too rite? we share our joys & woes wif them...r loyal to them & protect them as we wld our family...so yupz...we conclude tt the Imperial Treasure is not a lot different from Crystal Jade...cept the name (of coz..!!!)...

quite an eye-opener too...we were chattin after having placed our orders when the waitress brought a BIG bowl of ice water... totally surprised us...we were lyk "huh?? watz this fer???"...washin hands???...BUt we din order anythin tt requires sth other than chopsticks & spoon...so the next tot was "fer us to drink???!!!".. haha...asked yt to b de guinea pig...BUT of coz she din do it...lol...tho it wld haf been sensational if she had!!!! lol....den i guessed tt it's fer dippin food in...finally can't stand de suspense & mystery & we asked the waitress....guess wat???!!! i was correct!!...wahaha...we had actualli ordered this dish (sth lyk fried bananas coated wif malt candy) which required a dip in ice water before consumption...theory being tt the malt candy has to b solidified (yt came up wif it...hee)...aniwae wld lyk to tink tt this was an instance to show how awfully smart i am....BUT hafta admit....tink i ate sth similar the last time i went to china...wahaha...oh no i've gone & portrayed myself as a loser by admitting it!!!!!!

PLUZ...there was someone playin a grand piano rite outside at this open-concept bar....a bonus fer us since we cld hear it too in the chinese restaurant...(incidentally found out tt hx is a grade 5 piano player...GOSH!!! i'm surrounded by geniuses!!!...haha) ...the ambience at the bar was superb...were thinkin we shld drop by sometime fer a drink when we are not so broke...lol

then...it was movie-time...watched charlie & the chocolate factory...read the bk by roald dahl a looooong time ago...haha so din realli remember much....the show was farni & crappy....lol...luffed thru out the show coz it was so comic...a typical show fer kids coz there r all the morals bout being a gd kid & the importance of family, nicely spelled out in songs...a gd watch fer ppl who juz wanna relax & not watch sth tt taxes de brain...BUT a caution to chocolate lovers...after watchin the show....u'll b esp tempted to eat chocolate...i noe since tt was wat happened to us last nite....wahaha...

fate led us to esplanade (or was it our subconscious self tt was attracted to the chocolate bar there??!!) ...haha....aniwae we ended up there & passed by the chocolate bar & being curious (havin heard gd comments bout the place & attracted by its ambience)...stopped to look at its menu...& after much struggle (budget & being full & all)....decided to go in fer a drink...&....ended up wif no drink BUT wif a chocolate fondue(??!!)...u noe the craze nowadays bout dippin fruits & marshmallows into hot chocolate...PLUZ it din help much tt the couple sittin next to us were happily eatin the fondue too..lol their blissful expression was killin us...wahaha...it was nice since it came wif three diff kinds of choc (dark, white & normal??!! choc) unlike some other place where there's onli one kind...BUT still decided tt while it was nice & all...it was a waste of $$$$$ & sinful...haha...tho comforted ourselves tt it was onli once in a long time tt we indulge ourselves....so...yupz...haha...no wonder the economy iz doin so well...wat wif all de females' self-indulgence & self-reasonin fer their extravagance...lol...

so..yupz...another catchin-up session wif frenz before sch starts proper...lol..

Blogado por moi às 12:09 PM ||

______________________________

whAt mY BiRtHDaTe meAnS____.

Your Birthdate: March 12

You're a dynamic, charismatic person who's possibly headed for fame. You tend to charm strangers easily. And you usually can get what you want from them. Verbally talented, you tend to persuade people with your speaking and writing. You are affectionate and loving, but it's hard for you to commit to any one relationship. Your strength: Your charm Your weakness: Your extreme manipulation tactics Your power color: Indigo Your power symbol: Four leaf clover Your power month: December