I've been wanting to change for so long
My cowardice's getting to me
I'm such a scaredy cat
You'd think such a loser as I
Would have been dead a long time ago
BUT no..i'm still very much alive

How much alive?
Look at me and u'd noe
I'm more of a walking dead
Better off dead than alive

I talk BIG
I talk about wanting liberation and freedom
BUT do I have the nerve to play the game
When the time comes?

No one knows
What I do know is I dun have the balls
To play that is
Something is always pulling me back
I duno if there really is sth
Something like obligations and commitment
Or is it just an excuse to escape?
I look at myself in the mirror everyday
And all I see is a shell

I listen to what I say to others
And all I hear is hypocrisy
I try to remember all my actions
And all I can feel is my silliness
Who am I really?
Even I myself duno
I'm so lost and confused
There are so many 'mes'

I no longer noe
Which is the REAL me anymore

Sometimes I think I'm so selfish
I only think about 'me'
What about the others around me?
Dun they count?
I look in my heart and all I find is darkness
I look in my mind and I find emptiness
I look at myself and I find
A shitload of crap
My past is full of might-have-beens
My present is full of what the hell am i doing?
My future is dark in front of me
Seriously, I think my presence on earth
Is a BIG mistake
I fuck up everything and
I'm so GOOD at making ppl ard mi miserable
They'll prob find life easier
If I'm dead
I crave for death so much
You would think I'd commit suicide
BUT dun forget I'm a loser
I'm simply too damn scared to do it
In conclusion
I SUX...totally
____________

tHe DrEaMmEr____.
a hardcore bitch
a loser
a slacker
a dreamer
a failure
a contradictory person
a confused gal
a nobody who wanna b a somebody & a nobody at the same time
a fuck-up

WiSh LisT____.
everyone I care about (my family, cw, my friends)
to be healthy, safe & happy always
everyone I care about to outlive me
to die a horrible death

to fulfill my dreams:
a career as a police/forensic psychologist
a home(cottage/ranch) in UK/US
learn horse riding
learn how to shoot all kinda guns
learn lotsa foreign lang
learn skiing
go bungee jumping
learn hypnosis

LOveS____.
My family. cw
Takeshi Kaneshiro. Jay Chou. Luo Zhixiang.
Shakrukh Khan. Barry Manilow.
Dark Funeral.
Figo. Raul. Zidane. Deco. Van de sar.
K Bryant. M Jordan. A Iverson
Real Madrid. Man U.
Bleach. Fruits Baskets. Full Metal Alchemist.
Get Backers. Slam Dunk.
E Lit. Psych. Art.
Chocolates. Purple. Horses. Dogs.
Reading. Writing. Sketching. Music.
Night. Rain. Silence. Winter.
SimPliCitY.

MOvieS wAtcHed with dd____.
The Simpsons Movie. Knocked Up.
The Bourne Ultimatum.
National Treasure: Book of Secrets.
Broken English. Secret. Stardust. Next.
The Nanny Diaries. I am Legend.
Sex is Zero. The Shutter.
Just my luck. Step up.

tHe fElLow DrEaMeRs____.
wl
wl
cousin hy
zt
ph
yy
ll
yt
hx
xf
jl
Dorothy
Janice
kellY
William
Clement
Clement
Joy
Melissa

Darren

Xiaozhu
Fahrenheit-Wu Chun

NJCO Alumni
nvac
Achievers Blog
Achievers Forum
NUS Psych Society
A
B
F
K
C
Val's Find My Top
Bags for sale
psychopathic

LiNkS____.
Nohari window
Results of Nohari Window

fRagmenTs Of LiFe____.
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
November 2008
December 2008
May 2013

Sunday, September 04, 2005

watched this korean movie last sun on channel u....

was totally bowled over by it....it was so touching that i started howling literally just 10 minutes into the show...and din stop till after the show ended....seriously....wasn't kidding....nv cried so much while watching a movie ever in my entire life....

for those of u who haven watched it...try and catch it whichever way u can...itz superb...an ode to unconditional love...the movie iz bout a city boy who was sent to his handicapped mute grandmother's house in the country while his mother looked for a job in the city...the kid was FUCKING cruel to his grandma...he wun eat the food she cook...he called her stupid & retarded & dumb simply coz she's mute...when he ran out of batteries for his handheld computer game, he asked fer money from his grandma and when she had nothing to gif him, he peed on her only pair of shoes, threw away the shoes and his grandma had to walk barefoot on the country roads when she went out to fetch water and stuff....he even vandalised the walls, with words like retard etc....the grandma went out of her way to please him, cooking chicken fer him when he sae he wanna eat kentucky fried chicken...and he threw his bowl of rice onto the floor simply coz the chicken was steamed not fried...the grandma had to go to the market which was lyk miles away to sell vegetables to earn money to get the chicken & she walked back home in the bloody rain to cook for him & he treated her thus!!!!....and blahz.....despite everything, she still showered him wif love & concern...of coz he became better at the end & learned kindness & the importance of showing love...HOWEVER i can't bring myself to forgive him...what he did was atrocious, unforgivable!!!

the kid was such a brat....a selfish bastard....a jerk tt i wanna skin alive and cook slowly over a fire every min of the show....my heart was in pain every time i see the grandma being bullied....everytime the grandma appears...i think of my grandparents....in this world, they r the nicest ppl ever to me....and i'd do ANYthing for them....ANYTHING....lived with them when i was young and they were the ones who took care of me while my parents went out to work....played with me...took me to kindergarten..took me to the playground..bought ice-cream & cookies for me...every lantern festival, they'll buy lanterns fer mi and we'll go to the playground to celebrate...therefore this movie really struck me hard...right at the very core of my being...

so much so tt i went to visit my grandparents the very next day even tho i was supposed to study fer my test tt was to take place on fri....juz can't resist the urge to see them....talked to them....ate tea with them...even told them bout the movie....two-thirds of the conversation in hokkien somemore...and they actually understood....was totally amazed...i mean my hokkien sux....totally...tho i'm trying hard to improve so i can communicate more with them....and it wld help wif my volunteering...

think i muz realli buy the vcd and let them see...think they'll enjoy it....YESH i shall try and look for it!!!!!

Blogado por moi às 1:50 AM ||

______________________________

whAt mY BiRtHDaTe meAnS____.

Your Birthdate: March 12

You're a dynamic, charismatic person who's possibly headed for fame. You tend to charm strangers easily. And you usually can get what you want from them. Verbally talented, you tend to persuade people with your speaking and writing. You are affectionate and loving, but it's hard for you to commit to any one relationship. Your strength: Your charm Your weakness: Your extreme manipulation tactics Your power color: Indigo Your power symbol: Four leaf clover Your power month: December