Sunday, October 30, 2005
I watched this movie called "Boys and Girls" this afternoon on channel 5. It's almost like a rip off from "When Harry met Sally". The "meeting for the first time" on a plane; the occasional meetings at high school, college, university; The "We don't clique" to a platonic friendship process. The mutual encouragement to go out for dates. The self-denial of mutual attraction so as not to lose the friendship. Blahz. Yesh, it does sound like something all of us have seen on the screen every now and then in one movie or another, in one language or another. It's one of those typical Hollywood movie, when you can guess the ending right from the first few minutes of the show.
There's even the typical gender stereotypes. HE majors in structural engineering. SHE in Latin. HE knows what he wants to do when he graduates. SHE doesn't. HE is a control freak, plans every single detail. SHE loves surprises and spontaneity. HE's rational. SHE's emotional. Blahz.
BUT I LOVE it. Absolutely. Despite the cliches and the bad ratings. You probably gonna ask me why??!!! Dun I have better taste? wahaha I guess I don't. LOL. You probably think well....it's one of those sweet happily ever after shows that wy always goes all crazy and misty-eyed over. Well. I guess it IZ one of the reasons. I wun deny it. BUT what really strikes a resonance in me are the dialogues.
Jennifer in the movie said:
"Everybody's been in love but how come we don't know that it's true love 'till it's over? Maybe there's no one or two or three or four or even five. Maybe there is no such thing as true love. And we just keep on dressing up, we keep pretending to be something that we're not. We lose ourselves in something that we hope is better than what we think we are. What if the something that we're looking for just doesn't exist?"
Yesh. It's the "true love" thing that I'm so obsessed about. I really don't know why. There is something so enigmatic about this idea of a true love. I mean it is kinda weird how couples always claim to be in love with each other, yet how do they really know they do love each other? How do they know that the other party is THE ONE? How do they even know that the other party isn't wearing a mask while being with them? I mean all of us are so proficient at wearing masks. Most of us can even change our masks just with a snap of our fingers, to accomodate the company or the situation. How do you know that the other person is being him/herself in front on you and not just putting on an act to get close to you, or just withholding their true thoughts or feelings to accomodate you? YESH. Another of those "Appearance vs reality" thingy.
I'm not saying that lovers are being deliberately false to each other. BUT there is always this thing called social desirability and self-monitoring. Most of us are adept at it, being natural social creatures that we are. This whole thing was brought up in the movie, in which this guy can't seem to strike a balance between being too fake (trying to be someone people want to see) and too honest (trying to be himself). It's another of those neverending struggle between self and society that is forever present in all of us.
So what should couples do? "tell the truth but tell it slant?" BUT isn't love supposed to mean being open to each other, bare each others' hearts kinda stuff?? BUT there's really no such thing as knowing a person inside out, is there? i mean all of us have different selves. There's the open self which everyone knows. There's the blind self which is known to others BUT not to u. There's the hidden self tt only u know and there's the unknown self tt no one knows. So how can anyone claim tt i know a person. REallY know a person. OR even to say I know myself?
Is there really such an idea of a person completing another person in a couple relationship? The idea of two halves? Or is the pursuit of love just a disguise for our insecurities and inferiorities. If someone loves me, it means I'm worthy of love. It means I'm not that bad and worthless. I have social VALUE. I guess it is probably why people place such great emphasis on the need to have boyfriends and girlfriends. It's a social pressure.
BUT. What's so bad about being single? All your life? Is it such a sad life? Being single is not that bad. You have all the freedom. To decide how you want to live your life. You don't have to accomodate to anyone's wishes. You don't have to consider another person's feelings or thoughts. You don't have to spend time trying to decipher the other person's wants and needs. You don't have to feel guilty all the time whenever the other person feels sad or unhappy. Of course. I don't deny that being single can be lonely at times. We human beings are after all social creatures. We want another person to share our woes and joys. We want someone to comfort us when we are down. We want someone to protect us and for us to protect. What I'm trying to say is that love seems more of a want than a need, that's all.
And anyway. How do we know who THE ONE is when we don't even know who we are most of the time?
On the other hand, perhaps it is not so healthy to keep harping on the question of who we are and what we want to do in our life? Thinking too much may hamper our progress to our self-discovery coz we keep doubting ourselves every step of the way. We think so much that we lose sight of our real life. The physical life that we are living at the moment. vivir el momento. We should all live for the moment. Carpe diem. Seize the day. Each minute of our day. Each second. They are our lives. What we are doing at the moment IS how we are living our lives. So why keep thinking of our lives in the abstract? Get a LIFE! Stop wishing for things beyond our reach. Stop thinking of how things may be better if we have made another choice. We have made the choice. So live with it. Make it work.
And i'm once again preaching. wahaha..all of u out there mark my words. Follow my advice. Or live to regret it. DUH. I'm just kidding. Those of u who noe me should know. I am in no position to preach. COZ i'm worse than all of u in every way.
Blogado por moi às 3:50 PM ||
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