Tuesday, March 07, 2006
watched a video screening of a BBC documentary on dementia called "Black Daisies for the Bride" a few weeks back in one of my psych lectures..more specifically, it's a video on patients with alzheimer's disease from a particular hospice in US..it was one of the greatest documentaries i've ever watched..not that i've watched alot of documentaries..just that the whole video was so compelling and filmed in such an intensely emotional manner and it really hit me hard..
the patients were portrayed as individuals with real lives instead of a mere patient living in an institution..some of them had repetitive behaviour such as wiping the surfaces of furniture..some had difficulty coordinating their movements..some were withdrawn and seem lost in their own worlds..all of them have lost at least part of their memories..and it's sad to see how much of the many stuff that make up their own identities have been forgotten or simply unretrievable to them..a controversial issue about alzheimer's is whether the disease rips the people suffering from it of their identity, their life, their memories, and eventually themselves..to leave a mere empty shell in the end..for such a disease is progressive in nature..and presently, there are no cures for it..
in the video, lots of symbols are used..the disease is portrayed as a blizzard..it's almost as if contracting the disease is tantamount to being lost in the blizzard, unable to break through it back into the sunshine..many, even the loved ones of people with alzheimer's disease and dementia think that having such a disease means that the person ceases to be the individual they used to be..or worse becomes useless, garbage, lost forever..but does the loss of memories mean that the person is less of an individual? granted memories are what make us who we are or rather who we think we are..so much so that many of us take memories for granted..and many of us want to rid ourselves of all our bad memories whenever we encounter a rough patch..BUt so what if they have lost their memories and can't create new ones? they're still living..and even though they can't remember anything..the people around them, their loved ones, people who have come into contact with them, who know them can retain memories of them..they are still who they are..some of them who had been passionate about music clapped enthusiastically along with music and even sang along or danced..thus they still retain a part of their identity...
and what right do we have to write them off as an individual simply because they can't remember even their loved ones and their own names? we probably can't even begin to imagine the pain and agony they feel when they face a blockade in their mind whenever they try to recall something..what can be more frustrating and dehumanising than to lose control over even one's own mind, memories and identity?
throughout the whole video, i admit i was near tears..i nearly wanted to rush out of the class and howl at the end..it was just so bleak..yet right after the lecture, people sitting right in front of me just started analysing the whole video and discussing how to do the tasks tht have been allocated..we had to present on a symbol and one of the characters in the video..and instantly, i felt so freaking angry..to me, it was just so cold-blooded..so typical singaporean students..it's almost as if the whole video was treated as just that..a video..nothing more..as if the people who were videotaped weren't real people..
and what's more irritating..once they've figured out the answers, they started talking about baking cakes and brownies..ok it's my fault..i shouldn't have been eavesdropping i know..when you eavesdrop, u start to hear things you do not want to hear..usually..and perhaps i was too prejudiced..as usual..and of course too emotional and irrational..plus the fact that it really struck me hard..my heart was clenched and aching throughout the entire video..sometimes i would even find it hard to breathe..i guess if i were merely a student watching a video on a disease that i've learned about on the textbook with no particularly special interest in it, apart from the usual academic interest, i would be equally distanced..perhaps..but still i was irritated..perhaps cos i've never thought people taking psycholgy could be so callous or cold..but then again i was probably too sensitive and prejudiced..
during the discussion, all of us talked about how people with alzheimer's disease have an identity and blah blahz..and i remembered thinking at that time that yes as students participating in a discussion, all of us know the politically correct answers..especially when the group of students in that class were the clever and articulate ones..(except of course those who are taking masters, are research assistants or are already practicising psychology in some way or another, for they would have interacted with patients on a regular basis)..so how do you know whether people really mean what they say?
there was this particular student who said that the whole video was very SAD.. and i was like uhuh..it was just SAD..and she continue to say thank god for her grandmother who's healthy and everything..and i was like hello..this is a god bloody discussion on psychological issues..not your regular praying sessions..ok i admit i'm prejudiced against christians, usually those who keep thanking god for every single thing..i'm sorry if i'm offending any christians..i'm not against christianity although most of the time i do sound like an anti-christ person..it's just that i dun understand why such people have to show their "devotion" so ardently..it makes one suspicious of their intentions..are they really thankful or are they just showing off..trying to show everyone who can hear that they are very devout christians..
anyway yupz..another issue that came up was that therapists and psychologists who allow themselves to get too emotionally involved with their patients are unprofessional..and i disagree..i mean emotional involvement is inevitable if you want to do a good job right? i mean everything is built on trust and reciprocity..if the therapists are too cold, i can't imagine them being able to treat anyone..i guess being a professional is the ability to define his/her roles clearly..personal life and work are two separate things..even though they can overlap at times..but again..i've never practised before..how would i know?!
all in all..it was a great lecture and i was glad i took it even though taking the module is a serious underestimation of my own abilities and a plain stupid rash thing..and what made it worse was i plunged in knowing how dumb and most importantly, how impractical a decision it would be..simply because i was interested in dementia..and now i'm kinda hooked on neuropsychology, something i've never dreamed i would ever be interested in..is tt a good or bad thing?
Blogado por moi às 12:54 AM ||
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